Relating, Creating, Transforming

Posts tagged ‘listening’

Intimate Hearing, Radical Living

Luke 4:14-21  

Image result for echo deaf superhero

Echo [Ronin], a deaf superhero

Hearing is one of our senses, along with seeing, tasting, smelling, and touching.

Now, let me ask—how many of you are deaf or have a close family member or friend who is deaf?

As a hearing person, I am amazed at how in tune deaf people are with their surroundings and also, how well they communicate with others across a wide range of cultures and languages.

Case in point–my Grandpa M. He was deaf for most of his life. He read lips. I remember as a kid that when we talked with Grandpa, we needed to make eye contact, to face each other. I also remember reading the closed captioning on the TV and thinking that was cool. But to be honest, I never felt hindered in my conversations with him. In fact, to this day I still feel that my Grandpa sometimes communicated more effectively than we did. My grandpa used body language and facial expressions to communicate, as well as his words.

Deafness, unfortunately, is often viewed by hearing people as a deficiency rather than a separate linguistic context, worldview and culture, which people of the deaf community would like us to know that it is.

I asked my friend Jamie Lynn Hill, a freelance ASL interpreter, about her years of working with the deaf community. This is what she shared:


Body language and facial expressions are heavily integrated in their language and in the signs themselves so they’re used to REALLY looking at someone when they speak. Both because they HAVE TO (they can’t hear them) and because sometimes the sign alone doesn’t convey the full feeling, so you have to pay attention to the whole thing. And, as a side note, because you have to LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER to talk, you can’t be on the phone, or watching TV, or surfing Facebook and just be nodding and “uh-huh”ing. And I think that that also makes them better communicators and closer to one another. They always have each other’s full attention. 
Secondly, they really say what they mean. The double speak we use in English doesn’t translate into ASL the same way. It translates into a much more direct and clear statement. You are never left wondering how a deaf person “really feels about you”. Their community is unique in that they are very quick to let you in and share their lives but they can also be very passionate and very protective of themselves and their community. It almost seems like they went so long without having people to communicate easily with that they don’t have time to waste playing games. They want to talk, and share, and be involved in each other’s lives and if you’re willing to be a part of it, great, and if you’re not, fine.

In their history they spent a lot of time not being allowed to sign. Being in families that didn’t learn it, or allow them to learn it. Being shipped off to places for “disabled people” and it’s only in the last couple generations that they’ve been treated remotely like the rest of society. And I think as a result, they really value that communication with one another
And still I know, sadly, of a lot of people who are deaf–kids I’ve worked with, whose families don’t sign at home, and who therefore don’t have the same access to the everyday “how was school, how are you feeling” mundane conversation we take for granted. So when they find themselves surrounded by people they can fully express themselves to and understand back, they just don’t take it for granted.

Thanks, Jamie. What catches my attention is how deaf people have this ability to really listen.

Actually, did you know that research shows that only 7 percent of our personal messages are conveyed by words, 38 percent by tone of voice and 55 percent by facial expressions and body language? That is why nonverbal communication is so important.

See, we can get caught up in the 5 senses [especially hearing and seeing] and then look at others who are deaf or blind as having a disability. But if we do that, we are missing something. They are gifted. And they are often more in tune with their senses than we are. Our senses are miracles—especially when we pay attention to them. Those who are deaf can see more than we can imagine. Those who are blind can hear beyond what we think. Our senses are miracles when we use them.

So I want to try something. I’m going to say [write] less, and then let’s allow for our senses to be heightened, let’s be present in this very moment, and then let’s see what happens.

In Luke’s Gospel story, Jesus of Nazareth has become a teacher–his new profession. Jesus returned home to Nazareth, his home town to do some of that teaching just as he was doing in other synagogues outside of Nazareth. So Jesus read from one of the prophetic scrolls, this time Isaiah. He read famous words that everyone would have known—about an age of jubilee when justice would reign, and marginalized people would be welcomed back and healing would occur for many. Prisons would be emptied. People without sight would see, oppressed people would have freedom. He read from the scroll, rolled it back up, gave it to the synagogue attendant, and sat down.

Silence. People stared at him. Their body language anxious, curious, wondering. What would he say? How should they react?

Silence.

Until—just a few words.
“Today this has been fulfilled in your hearing.”
By simply hearing it—fulfillment.

But what does it mean to truly hear and see it fulfilled in action, in living?

Is it enough to just hear, or do we need to lean in, make eye contact, read lips, facial expression, body language, gestures?

Is intimate hearing actually active listening? Not just using our ears to hear, but our eyes to see, our tongues to taste, our hands to touch, and our noses to smell? To take it all in—to truly sense and be present. So that, in the act of being fully present, and aware and awake, we process what was said/expressed, and then it changes us.

May we learn from all the gifted, incredible people in the deaf community. May we recognize our lack of listening skills. May we put down our phones and turn off our devices. May we look each other in the eyes or read lips, or notice body language and facial expressions.

May we actively listen to each other.

Any time of jubilee and justice–an era during which the marginalized are welcomed and balance is restored will only happen if we listen to each other.

Related image



Advertisements

How Do We Get Distracted?

Luke 10:38-42

distract
What makes you feel distracted?
What distracts you from being your true self?

Facundo-Cabral
Facundo Cabral, Argentine singer, songwriter, and philosopher (1937-2011), once wrote about distraction and depression. Here is an excerpt:

You are not depressed; you are distracted. You believe that you have lost something, which is impossible, because everything that you have was given to you.  You did not make a single hair of your head so you can not own anything.  In addition, life does not subtract things, it liberates you from them. It makes you lighter so that you can fly higher and reach the fullness. From cradle to grave, it is a school, and that is why those predicaments that you call problems are lessons, indeed.

Liberate yourself from the tremendous burden of guilt, responsibility, and vanity, and be ready to live each moment deeply, as it should be.

Love till you become the beloved, and even more! Love till you become the love itself!

This NT Gospel story is about distraction and about choosing a better way.
Here’s how it
goes:

Martha extends cultural hospitality to Jesus.
Mary sits and listens to Jesus’ teachings.
Martha completes the obligatory tasks of hospitality.
Martha complains that Mary has neglected said tasks.
Martha asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her.
Jesus responds that Mary has chosen the better activity.

This story follows the parable of the Samaritan. This is a parallel tale.
Samaritan story: a dying man on the side of the road, but the obligation to help is not there for priest & Levite. They walk on by. The Samaritan is not obligated either, but chooses to help out of compassion.
Mary/Martha story: Jesus comes to their home. Martha feels obligated, according to the customs of society, to offer food and drink to Jesus. She considers that to be the most important thing. Mary shows hospitality to Jesus also, but not out of obligation. She sits at his feet and listens. Martha’s anxiety over getting the hospitality thing out of the way leads her to possibly resent Mary’s sitting.

Don’t be fooled, though. This is not Martha vs. Mary. Jesus does not rebuke Martha, remember. He simply states that Mary has chosen the better thing, just as compassion is better than obligatory service in the Samaritan story. Mary chooses to love and to show hospitality, but in a way that society did not require. Martha’s hospitality was fine, but it didn’t go the extra step. This is why Martha felt anxiety and was distracted. Or maybe Martha was anxious because she couldn’t find Pokémon? 

pokemonGo
Also, compare Mary to the Samaritan—both heroes in these stories.

The Samaritan was obviously an unexpected hero who fulfilled the law by acting with compassion. Mary, a female, was an unexpected hero by not filling the typical role for a woman and instead acting out of genuine love and desire to learn; she became a student/disciple.

The thing is, Martha is fine, too, until she lets her anxiety get the best of her. When she calls out Mary, she has stopped being hospitable. Now it’s all about her.

Jesus visits her house, not to praise her for what she does or how well she does it, but instead, Jesus comes to tell Mary and Martha that they are both valued for who they are as children of God.

This is the better thing—to listen to that voice, to embrace your value as a person; to not measure your deeds or to compare yourself to others. When we do that, we get distracted.

My take: we can do a lot of things. We can fill schedules and calendars. We can appear busy. And yet, if life is just about completing those tasks, where will we find love, compassion, and peace? Will our actions just be another thing to check off of a list, will we start to resent others who don’t “work” as hard as we do? Will we ever stop to just sit and listen, which to me, is checking in with ourselves? This kind of life can be depressing and empty.

At the same time, though, it’s not just about sitting and listening. The listening helps us to hear a good word about who we are as human beings—that we are loved and our worth is not measured by what we do or don’t do. After listening, though, we find strength to live, to do good things in the world. Look, this planet we live on is wrought with heavy and sad things—plenty with which to distract us and make us feel more anxiety and worry. 

And yet, we can stop to sit and listen. We are capable of that. Sometimes stopping and listening means that you stop talking and actually listen to another person’s point of view or their story without planning how you will respond. Maybe you’ll just listen. Or you may sit for a moment, take a break from your schedule and live a few moments that are unplanned. Or perhaps you need to hear the kind and compassionate voice in the midst of all the heavy and hateful voices. The kind voice says that life matters most above all things, and so anyone’s life in danger is your life in danger. And that is motivation to show love to people at all times; that is motivation to show love to yourself.

So may you find moments to sit and listen in a world that doesn’t seem to encourage that better activity. May you listen to others. May you embrace your whole self, realizing that your value is not measurable by the number of things you complete in a day, a week, or a lifetime. May you not compare yourself to others. May you listen to and embrace compassion, and then may you show it to others.

 

Listening and then Belonging

John 10:22-30

Julian Treasure is founder and chairman of The Sound Agency, a UK-based consultancy that asks and answers the question: “How does your brand sound?”

julianTreasureJulian’s vision is to make the world sound beautiful, by helping individuals to make and receive sound consciously, and companies to discover that good sound is good business.
http://www.juliantreasure.com.

He recently gave a Ted Talk entitled: “Five Ways to Listen Better.” Conscious listening, he says, leads to understanding.You can watch it here:

 

Allow me to apply some of his research and points.
First, consider crowd noise. Everyone is talking all at once.
Now, in the midst of all that noise, I will call upon the names of two people, saying their names and telling them to pay attention. What will happen? They will stop talking and listen.

This happens because we recognize patterns to distinguish noise from signal, and especially our name.

Another sound technique: differencing. Play some constant noise—anything. TV, phone, iPod, whatever. Now, if you leave this noise going for more than a couple of minutes, you would literally cease to hear it. We listen to differences and we discount sounds that remain the same.
Now close your eyes.

Sound places all of us in space and in time. By closing your eyes, you become aware of the size of the place you are in from the reverberation and the bouncing of the sound off the surfaces. And you’re aware of how many people or other beings are around you because of the micro-noises you’re receiving.

And now to the crux of Mr. Treasure’s passion: he claims that we are losing our listening. Why? First, because we have invented ways to record sound and video and words. Second, because the world is very noisy. It becomes hard to listen. Perhaps that’s why many people use headphones so that they can transform big, noisy spaces into small little sounds in their ears. We’ve also become impatient. We don’t want to listen for long periods of time, we want sound bites. Headlines therefore have to scream at us, just to get our attention. It’s political season. You know what I mean.

And why do you think commercials turn up the volume?

Mr. Treasure goes on to say that listening is our access to understanding. Conscious listening creates understanding. A world where we don’t listen to each other at all is a very scary place indeed.

So He shares five simple exercises–tools to take away with you, to improve your own conscious listening.

Silence: Silence of 3 minutes a day helps reset our ears to quiet so that we can listen well.

The Mixer: Even in a noisy environment, try to listen to as many individual channels as you can hear and differentiate. It can be in a crowded city intersection, at the workplace, at school, or even in a beautiful, natural place as well, like a park. How many birds do you hear? Where are they? Is their flowing water? So the leaves make sounds in the wind? This improves the quality of your listening.

Savouring: This is about enjoying the most mundane sounds. For instance, the tumble dryer of a washing machine. We can enjoy any sound as long as we listen.

Listening positions: This is the most important one. Moving your listening position to what’s appropriate –  active/passive or critical/sympathetic. This helps become conscious of barriers/filters to listening and play around with them.

RASA: It’s a Sanskrit word for juice or essence and the acronym stands for Receive, Appreciate, Summarize, Ask. It recaps the process of active listening.

In the conclusion of his Ted Talk, Mr. Treasure says this:

Every human being needs to listen consciously in order to live fully — connected in space and in time to the physical world around us, connected in understanding to each other, not to mention spiritually connected, because every spiritual path I know of has listening and contemplation at its heart.

This is certainly true of early Christianity—though I would argue that modern-day Christianity [and especially Western Christianity] completely undervalues listening. Just consider how much Christian sects and denominations yell back and forth at each other but rarely listen? Just think about how many of us who identify as progressive Christians have to explain ourselves again and again, saying: “Yes, I’m a Christian, but I’m not like that or I don’t believe that or I don’t dehumanize certain types of people.” It seems that  a lot of the time, religious people are not listening.

We often do not listen.

notlistening
And this is indeed the message of this short snippet from a John story, in which Jesus is pretty blunt about the need for listening. The story begins by saying that it is the “festival of dedication” which refers to the Jewish feast of Hanukkah. In Greek, the Hebrew word is translated to be renewal. Hanukkah is the festival which celebrates the reconsecration of the Jerusalem Temple after the victory of Judas Maccabeus. John’s Gospel includes these references from time to time due to the audience reading the story. It was important to help non-Jewish readers understand a bit of the history and context of Jesus’ ministry.

It’s winter—you can feel the chill in the story. As Jesus of Nazareth strolls around the portico of Solomon, the Judeans [the Jerusalem-area social and religious aristocracy] surround him and pester him. They are scared of Jesus, because they had heard whispers of him being the promised Messiah, even though Jesus himself had never made such a claim. If Jesus were indeed the Messiah, the religious elites would be in trouble. So they were nagging Jesus until he said something. If he claimed to be the Messiah, he could be stoned. If he denied it, they could go back to the other elites and say See, we told you so.

Jesus’ response is typical. He doesn’t call himself the Messiah. Instead, he makes it about trust. The phrase here shouldn’t be I told you and you did not believe but instead I told you and you did not trust. They didn’t trust in the work that Jesus did. The healings. The teachings. The gathering of so-called sheep who were marginalized and left on the outside of society. The religious authorities are not the sheep. They are more like the thieves that come to separate and destroy.

And they don’t listen.

On the other hand, those who were often considered unclean and unworthy are sheep, and they do listen. They hear the loving voice. And they are known. They follow the merciful path. And life is theirs to embrace.

So here it is—we should listen, but not to all the noise, all the conventional sounds of society, and certainly not to the voices that seek to destroy, hurt, or separate.

Instead, we should listen to the voice that says:

I am not the things my family did.

I am not the voices in my head that tell me I’m worthless.

I’m not the mistakes that I have made or any of the things that have caused me pain.

I am not the color of my eyes or the skin on the outside.

I am not an age, a race, a nationality, a religion, or an academic level.

I am divinity defined.

I am the God on the inside.

I am connected to others because I listen to them and accept them.

I am light.[1]

Will you take just a few moments each day and during the week to listen to that voice? Will you connect with me, connect with each other? Will you teach children how to listen and will we teach listening in our schools, workplaces, places of worship, and homes? Listening is a powerful thing. It can transform the world to a listening world — a world of connection, a world of understanding and a world of peace. Will you listen?

[1] Excerpts from India Arie’s song I Am Light.

Tag Cloud

Cranky But Cultured

Home of horror, literary, and romance author Lucas Mangum

My Journey 2 My Peace

Overcoming Anxiety and learning to live Positively

Deeper in me than I

eloquia oris mei et meditatio cordis mei

Mind Squirrels

Religion | Education | Health

ArabLit

Arabic Literature and Translation

Silence Teaches Us Who We Are

Silence, Centering Prayer, Contemplative Prayer, Jesus, God, and Life.

Casa HOY

On the road to change the world...

myrandomuniverse

a philosophical, analytic, occasionally snarky but usually silly look at the thoughts that bounce around....

"Journey into America" documentary

Produced by Akbar Ahmed

Interfaith Crossing

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Prussel's Pearls

An Actor's Spiritual Journey

a different order of time

the work of a pastor

learn2practice

mood is followed by action

Imago Scriptura

Images & Thoughts from a Christian, Husband, Father, Pastor

the living room.

117 5th Street, Valley Junction__HOURS: M 9-5, TW 7-7, TH 7-9, F 7-7, S 8-5, S 9-4

the view from 2040

theological education for the 21st century